another diet blog

So, here are the facts: I want to lose 25-30 pounds, at about 5 pounds a month for the next six months. By consuming about 1200 calories a day, exercising four days a week, drinking alcohol only twice a week (spoiler alert: this one will be painfully difficult), and complementing the physical change of my body with a mental one, I will increase my confidence, form a better understanding of my body, and build a deeper connection with the food that I consume.

I think the first thing to address when one wants to change their body, is how they got to where they are in the first place. I've been slowly gaining weight since I turned 18, though a couple bouts of depression and consequent drug and alcohol abuse kept this weight gain from being perceptible. But here I am now, 22 years old, happy, in a healthy relationship, with basically no complaints other than the 30 pounds that I've acquired.

I blame the relationship. And in a way, I'm lucky that I can do so. About the only good that my depression did was keep me thin-sadness for beauty-and that was not a worthwhile tradeoff. However, my man and I have certain habits that are less than healthy, despite the psychological benefits of being in a happy relationship. Binge eating, for example. Drinking two glasses of wine with dinner every other night. Dessert. Lattes. Late night munchies. All of these activities are sooo tempting and sooo detrimental to a diet, especially when you have a partner to enable you. I have the mentality that just because I'm happy, it is okay to splurge, but when you splurge often, and with a buddy, it takes its toll. On your thighs.

It could also be the reintroduction of meat into my life after six years of vegetarianism. I do not regret this decision at all. I am not the person I was when I turned 16 and decided that eating animal flesh was evil. The more I learn about American foodways, the less effective I think vegetarianism is at solving our problems. A lack of transparency in the food chain lies at heart of American food culture, and simply rejecting a part of that problem does not solve anything. I've realized that being an omnivore is very interesting and delicious, and I embrace this evolutionary taste. For me, making smart choices about the meat I consume is more important than abstaining from it entirely and in buying local, sustainable meat and seafood, I insert my opinion into the twisted path that is American foodways. For my body, however, this choice added about 200-400 calories onto my daily intake, and that aint cool.

So that's where I come from, here's where I'm going: I decided to keep a blog as a way to force myself out of the mentality that going on a diet is some sort of embarrassing secret that I should do, with guilt, as if I was punishing myself. I realized this morning while sipping on some lovely green tea that my sister gave me, that the embarrassing part already happened: I gained thirty pounds. It's there, physically evident on my body; no denying it happened. So why should I hide the fact that I'm doing something about it? Rather than wrap this diet in guilty vibes, I see it as an opportunity to improve myself, physically and mentally; in this way, I feel strong and empowered.

Since I'm attempting to improve my body, I thought I might work on my mind, too. I've sketched out a tentative book list, which will focus on the way individuals interact with their food. I'll begin with The Omnivores Dilemma, by Michael Pollen, followed by some articles by anthropologist Claude Lévi-Strauss, Marion Nestle, perhaps re-read Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser and will finish off my diet with a more broad look at ecosystems and our place within them, with Rachel Carson's infamous Silent Spring. I'm sure more will be added to the list as I do research.

So, there it is, in painfully close detail. If you'll excuse me, I have a run to go on.